Staring down at the ground, heart pounding… three thousand feet down, or am I standing at the bottom? I can’t tell from here. The black veil surrounds me, and its name is Life. It is alive and changing, but not to my discernment. All I know is it’s just the ledge, mirror, and me. Why can’t I tell if I’m about to fall off or if I am about to pigeon it with my face? Like a house of mirrors, but will I see my reflection when I look up or down? Or has that been answered for me already? I could just lay down and let darkness engulf me. That’s so easy.
No, I will face this. I will find my place.
I look up and see me looking down at the ledge and me. I can touch the looking glass. Cold but smooth, it comforts me. I look down and see nothing but my toes curling over the edge. Deep below, the rippled and distorted disfigurement of me. Mayhaps simply a different me.
So this is what the top looks like? The only certainty is that I was there and now I am here?
Only one thing to do…
So I turn into the veil and walk away from the ledge. No sense in falling back to where I know I was. Littered with debris and snares, I stumble my way into the black on this walkway of ice and cinders. I can see the way back to the ledge… It is all I know to be true. Looking forward, blindness meets me eye to eye. Moving on, I could fall into another, deeper pit. I could find stairs. That’s why it’s called the black.
I guess I won’t know until I keep going.