This is a poem that I also intended to be a song much like Promise Me You’ll Go and is very simple as a result. That said, after rereading it, I felt no need to change anything except add a final stanza to completely clarify the result of passiveness, and I think one should be added in the future to further explain the more hopeful side if one does take action.
It’s Pouring – Revisited
It’s pouring outside
and I’ve still so much to learn
I’ve got nothing left to hide
just a carousel I need to burn
The raindrops address the page
where my tears were meant to lay
but now I’m center-stage
and everybody’s listening
It’s storming outside
and there’s so much I just don’t know
taking a step towards the tide
afraid to step away from my throne
The raindrops address the page
where my heart was meant to lay
but now I’m center-stage
and everybody’s listening
It’s so calm inside
all these books to read, just flip the page
my mind gently glides
a barn swallow in a sparrow’s cage
The raindrops address the page
where my spirit lies, in wait
but now I’m center-stage
and everybody’s listening
There’s nothing left inside
the ink well is dry, my hand was stayed
nothing more to confide
silence on an empty stage
Oh this is so beautiful. It can surely be a wonderful song! Just add bridge to it. You’ve got stanzas and chores. Great work as always! Anazing to read 😊
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Aww thank you 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Welcome and great wishes for your new start of improving writing skills! 😀 You inprove and i learn too!
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